[Abel tends to spend most of his time out there anyway. Shockingly, he doesn't like to spend all of his time in Cain's bedroom, it feels too much like he's some kind of useless bauble scraping by on coding pet simulations and realistic wind patterns. At least the living room makes him feel like he's got some semblance of a life.]
[His eyes focus on Deimos when he walks in, and he brushes the code he's working on away to give the Fighter his undivided attention. He even scoots over on the couch to indicate Deimos should sit if he likes. Abel doesn't look angry or tense, not even carefully neutral-- he looks worried, like he's preparing to walk on eggshells.]
Cain told me you helped us escape, back in the hangar. I didn't see it when it was happening. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care, I just didn't know.
[He hesitates in his room before exiting for the living room. This confrontation was going to happen eventually, better to face it now before it festered into something nasty. Though hadn't the situation already become such? Yes. But whatever feelings he had on the ship (love, sadness, anger) had burned up and out, leaving behind guilt and remorse.
It wasn't supposed to be like that.
Quietly he steps into the living room, and immediately feels peering eyes upon him. Deimos tries not to flinch, or instinctively hide into the shadows of their apartment. He braces himself as he makes his approach to the couch, not sure what to expect from Abel. Even with all the watching and observing he'd done at Cain's request, Abel still manages to surprise him by his actions and even more so by his kindness.
He slowly sits down on the couch, looking over at Abel's face to try to get a reading of what he was dealing with. Cain told him Abel needed time to think, and Deimos fully expects Abel to let him have it. Maybe not with anger or even neutrality, but with a sternness that would sting for days. Instead, the worried look catches him off guard as does Abel's words. (Sure Cain said he'd talk to Abel but Cain didn't exactly explain what he would talk about.)
Deimos isn't sure how to respond. It shows. By the way his brows furrow, and his lips fumble silently. He almost wishes the drugs from his arrival were still in his system]
Don't apologize. [His voice strains as he speaks with a calm deliberation, taking all the time he needs to properly get his feelings out.] You couldn't have known. [About his last act of treason or why he threw Abel's feelings under the bus.]
I don't know what Cain told you but I owed you for what I did to you. I thought- I didn't- [He pauses, swallowing at nothing. He shyly looks away.] I won't make excuses. I'll answer anything you want to ask.
[Abel had been convinced that Deimos literally never spoke after the incident in the mess hall, but the confrontation before the shipyard run proved him otherwise. Still, it's clear to Abel that it's taking a lot for Deimos to speak out loud and at length. So he's patient and listens even when Deimos fishes for the right words.]
Cain tried to blame himself and Phobos. He said you were manipulated by them. But it sounds like your interpretation of what happened is different. [Abel, despite taking time to think things through, still holds the belief that both Phobos and Deimos did what they had done out of malice. The only difference is that Abel's hurt isn't manifesting as anger anymore, he just needs to hear that it wasn't right.]
Cain told me that you liked him, that you did everything he asked and then he picked me instead. Is that true? Is that why you told me he was a liar and not worth it?
Manipulation is a strong word. I wouldn't use it to describe my relationship with Cain. [The word robs Deimos of his autonomy, and excuses him of any wrong doing. Even as quiet and unknowingly-complicit as he may have been, Deimos still choose to do what Cain asked. He still decided to play along with Phobos plan. ] Phobos... I'm not sure.
[If he would call it manipulation. He's still turning the events of that fateful day over in his mind. No matter which way he looks at it, Phobos definitely manipulated him but he had a choice too, didn't he?]
I did like Cain. He saved me. [From what, Abel will have to guess.] Not a lot of fighters are willing to risk the brig or their own rep for a nobody like me. I thought it was- [Love. He shakes his head, unable to say the word.] Well. Regardless of what I thought, the feelings weren't mutual. But for a long time I wanted to believe that the feelings were mutual. That's why I did what Cain asked. That's why I watched you, and made sure no other fighter got near you. I thought that if I'd helped Cain and do all I could to help his mission that'd he'd eventually return the feelings. I was there for each navigator he had and even helped him climb the ranks amongst the fighters. I felt like I was owed something. Like I had earned the right.
I know now that that's not how relationships work but I never really had friends before Cain. [He breathes deeply, squeezing his fingers together. His own breakup comes fresh in his mind now.]
Cain took advantage of my feelings for him. You came along and changed Cain, for better or worse, and I had to watch it all on the sidelines. You and him were so close and friendly... I wanted that. Yet any time I tried to be intimate or close with Cain he completely shut me out.
He wasn't truthful to me or to you and he had the fucking balls to tell me to my face that he didn't have feelings for you even though I called him out about it. His other navigators... he never called them by name. He never cared for them. That's... how I knew you were different for him.
[Deimos sighs, head drooping low so that his bangs could hide part of his face.]
We stopped being friends that night, you know? And... well. It just snowballed into something awful for me. I had no one else to spend time with on what could have possibly been our last night alive. I let my hurt and anger tear me apart and Phobos... he fucking knew.
I- [Deimos sniffs, wiping at the corner of his eye. Fucking Phobos.]
I know you might not believe me but I went along with Phobos plan to get back at Cain. I didn't do it to drag you down to my level. I knew you liked him and yet... all I could think about was exposing Cain for the lies and deception surrounding your relationship. In truth, I wasn't thinking. I just let myself be tugged around by the frayed ends of my emotions again.
[The details are new, but the general gist is what Abel had guessed-- Cain had rejected Deimos' feelings and that had started the whole mess. He can't fault Deimos for doing everything he could to earn Cain's affections, Abel had tried to do the same in school when he'd had a crush. But he'd never felt like he'd 'earned the right' to someone's affection, so he can't sympathize with it. At least Deimos has learned otherwise.]
[He also wonders how much Cain really used Deimos' feelings when he was constantly putting off Deimos' advances-- maybe Deimos just refused to see the writing on the wall, or kept hoping that something would suddenly change between them. But maybe Abel is just too willing to defend Cain, who seems to put too much pressure on himself. Pressure he doesn't need to take on all by himself.]
[But really, Abel is somewhat eased by the knowledge that attempting to destroy his relationship with Cain wasn't about him directly. Maybe he'd expected Abel to get angry and punish Cain like he wanted, maybe he hadn't expected Abel to break down crying in front of them. Come to think of it, Phobos had started laying into him again after the initial truth bomb and Deimos had interrupted. Maybe the only person who took pleasure in hurting Abel was Phobos, while Deimos' motivation was completely different. Not without unforeseen consequences, but some credit could be issued where it was due.]
It's alright Deimos. You don't have to hold it in, I can tell you're holding onto more hurt than regret over being caught. [Abel shifts to dig into his pocket and pulls out his handkerchief, offering it to Deimos.]
I'm sure Cain didn't mean to lie to you about what he felt. Admitting something out loud, something that you don't want to be true, is hard. I think you experienced that with your feelings for Cain, right? You knew he didn't return your feelings, but admitting it to yourself would have been painful. Both of you were struggling to gain control of things that were outside your control. You should try to forgive him for hiding his feelings, at least.
Have you talked to him about all of this yet? I didn't think it was my place to ask him, but I think you should air all of this out so the two of you can move forward.
[He looks at the hankerchief, shaking his head with a sullen frown. Declining Abel's offer out of the instinctive need not to show more emotion than he already has. No one in this apartment is going to paint a target on his back just for being human but habits are hard to break. And lately, Deimos has had to fight off a lot of tried and true habits. Especially regarding Cain.]
I've already forgiven him. [One eye peers out from behind his bangs, tilting his head to rub at the exposed neck.] Back then, when I understood the seriousness of my mistake... I vowed to make it better and- I'd already done the next best thing to apologize for my behavior.
[Helping them escape, leaving himself to rot away in the brig for treason. For a crime he'd never get a fair trial for.]
We kind of chatted. Not really. I don't know if we should talk about what had happened. He knows what happened. What I did to you, and what came after. That’s where the dog is buried after all.
[Abel's lips purse just a little when Deimos refuses the handkerchief, and he sets it down between them. That's probably as clear a signal as any how Abel feels about Deimos continuing to hold everything in. He sits back and keeps listening.]
[When Deimos finishes with that strange idiom that Abel can only assume is a Russian thing, the meaning of which he mostly parses from the context, he lets out a deep breath.]
I think you should talk, despite thinking everything's settled. When Cain approached me about this, he told me the two of you still had to talk this over so I think it's less done and dusted than you might think.
I'll be honest Deimos, I'm glad you did what you did to protect the two of us, but I didn't even know it had happened until Cain told me. Just doing something doesn't replace actually communicating with someone, it's important to do both. It's important to apologize verbally and change your behavior.
[Communicating verbally hasn't always been Deimos strongest points and he flinches when Abel puts him in his spot and makes him acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that he hasn't communicated with Cain. They've skirted around the cusp of the issue, buried the dog so to speak and avoided mentioning what had started the rift in their relationship.
He furrows his brows, lips stuck in a thin pout as he tried to free himself of this awkwardness.]
I'm not great with my words.
[Neither is Cain. The few blissful moments they've had together was from the rush of their actions. Train jumping and exploring the ruins. None of those needed words. Just a silent understanding that they got each other. Understood each other. Like old times without the flirtatious undertone.
Except it's not at all like old times and Deimos knows that they should talk. The two fighters don't know each other as well as they thought. They need to speak eventually, even if to help lay down a more solid foundation for their budding friendship. Deimos also recognizes that Abel isn't going to accept some excuse of not being able to communicate even if the facts all point to Deimos being difficult with verbal confrontation. Even being pressurized (however gently) by Abel has him frustrated by the lack of words.]
[Abel folds his arms across his knees, graceful and delicate.]
You did just fine with me.
[Abel can't lift much, can barely throw a punch, and held onto railings during strong breezes-- but he's got words, and he unfortunately knows how to use them thanks to being steeped in politics from birth. He doesn't fault Deimos and Cain for having trouble expressing themselves, but Cain at least makes the effort instead of admitting defeat right off the bat. And even then it's not a very solid claim at defeat, given Deimos has said more in the past few minutes than Abel ever expected him to. He's not buying it.]
If you want me to sit between the two of you and play the teleprompter I'm happy to, but somehow I doubt either of you want me there for this conversation.
I don't think you'd want to be there for that conversation.
[The last time Cain and Deimos admitted their feelings ended up with both of them trying to attack the other. Besides, Deimos doesn't want Abel there to see how humiliated he is by the whole situation regarding his own feelings. With a heavy sigh, Deimos drags his hands down his face- roughly wiping away the tears that threatened to spill and easing the tension out of his system. He remains quiet for a bit, staring hard at his lap as he tries not to drown in his own hurtful sorrow.]
This is hard for me too. [His voice drops in volume. All he can do to keep himself from not speaking is lock his hands tightly together in a hard grip.] Maybe even harder.
[The conversation becomes briefly broken as Deimos tries to surmise how difficult this entire situation is for the three of them. More importantly- how it'll be difficult for him to recover from this awful mess. Admitting he had feelings for Cain still leaves him burning with embarrassment and while he did give the Reliant the opportunity they needed to escape, it's still left Deimos with the knowledge that he's still alone in this world. That's a difficult truth to get over.
But it'll be something he'll have to get over by talking things out with Cain and making things right with Abel.
Gently he grabs the hankerchief left out for him by Abel, wringing it in his hands.]
Because I might be too delicate and uncomfortable watching you two try to talk about your feelings? Deimos after what the three of us just went through, I can assure you, there is very little that would shock or upset me at this point.
[He doesn't like the implication that he couldn't handle a conversation between Deimos and Cain, that Deimos would be doing him some kind of favor releasing him from a burden. He likes it even less that Deimos thinks he can hide behind things like refusing Abel's handkerchief and denying he needs to let anything out, then turn around and imply that Abel would be the one who would be uncomfortable and that the situation is hard-- like Abel was somehow unaware of that fact. And yet Abel has offered help only to have it be rejected with a subtle reminder that this is so hard for Deimos.]
[Abel watches coolly as Deimos finally picks up the handkerchief to worry it. It's a start, he guesses.]
You should. I think the sooner you both air this out and take ownership of what happened, the sooner you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself.
[That's his assessment, and he's sticking to it.]
I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that this is harder for you than for any of us, we all hurt as a result of this. I've spent this entire conversation trying to understand your pain and not wave mine around, because I'm not interested in whether it's more or less. It's just different. I didn't forgive Cain because my pain was less than his, I forgave him because he helped me understand his pain.
And I think I understand yours, despite your attempts to keep me as an onlooker. But Cain's not looking for this like I am. You need to speak clearly to him so that both of you can be on the same page. Until then, he's going to go on feeling responsible for your choices and you're going to keep up outward appearances while resenting it. Are you really so sure you've forgiven him if you're convinced this situation has been the hardest on you?
[Abel's words sting, digging deeply into Deimos as he wrings the handkerchief tight. He frowns hard at the words being spoken to him. The truth is there, plainly laid out in front of him and Abel won't let him worm his way out of responsibility in acknowledging the truth. Abel's too good with his words to let him go that easily, and much too kind of a person to simply believe that Deimos has shared all his pain. Deimos realizes this and can't help but flinch.]
Fuck. [The curse is soft- audible only because it's the two of them talking face to face.] You're right.
[His whole body eases up from the tension he'd been holding onto, relaxing into the couch. It won't do him any good to see himself as the victim here. They're all victims in their own ways after all.
He opens his mouth to say something and nothing comes out. Instead a steady stream of tears paints his face. He may have been honest with Abel about what happened back then with why he'd outed Cain as a liar. Even more honest with Cain about coming back to help them. Though he told Abel of his initial hurt, he really hasn't opened up to the Reliant duo about his fears of returning home. He hadn't even begun to consider that Cain may have felt responsible for the actions he's taken. The last thing he wants is a rift in their friendship over assumed feelings.
Abel's right. The sooner they talk, the sooner they can rightfully see each other taking ownership for the things that happened, the sooner they can let go of this resentment and pain. The sooner he'll stop feeling sorry for himself and stop dreading something that may never happen.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Abel tends to spend most of his time out there anyway. Shockingly, he doesn't like to spend all of his time in Cain's bedroom, it feels too much like he's some kind of useless bauble scraping by on coding pet simulations and realistic wind patterns. At least the living room makes him feel like he's got some semblance of a life.]
[His eyes focus on Deimos when he walks in, and he brushes the code he's working on away to give the Fighter his undivided attention. He even scoots over on the couch to indicate Deimos should sit if he likes. Abel doesn't look angry or tense, not even carefully neutral-- he looks worried, like he's preparing to walk on eggshells.]
Cain told me you helped us escape, back in the hangar. I didn't see it when it was happening. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care, I just didn't know.
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It wasn't supposed to be like that.
Quietly he steps into the living room, and immediately feels peering eyes upon him. Deimos tries not to flinch, or instinctively hide into the shadows of their apartment. He braces himself as he makes his approach to the couch, not sure what to expect from Abel. Even with all the watching and observing he'd done at Cain's request, Abel still manages to surprise him by his actions and even more so by his kindness.
He slowly sits down on the couch, looking over at Abel's face to try to get a reading of what he was dealing with. Cain told him Abel needed time to think, and Deimos fully expects Abel to let him have it. Maybe not with anger or even neutrality, but with a sternness that would sting for days. Instead, the worried look catches him off guard as does Abel's words. (Sure Cain said he'd talk to Abel but Cain didn't exactly explain what he would talk about.)
Deimos isn't sure how to respond. It shows. By the way his brows furrow, and his lips fumble silently. He almost wishes the drugs from his arrival were still in his system]
Don't apologize. [His voice strains as he speaks with a calm deliberation, taking all the time he needs to properly get his feelings out.] You couldn't have known. [About his last act of treason or why he threw Abel's feelings under the bus.]
I don't know what Cain told you but I owed you for what I did to you. I thought- I didn't- [He pauses, swallowing at nothing. He shyly looks away.] I won't make excuses. I'll answer anything you want to ask.
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Cain tried to blame himself and Phobos. He said you were manipulated by them. But it sounds like your interpretation of what happened is different. [Abel, despite taking time to think things through, still holds the belief that both Phobos and Deimos did what they had done out of malice. The only difference is that Abel's hurt isn't manifesting as anger anymore, he just needs to hear that it wasn't right.]
Cain told me that you liked him, that you did everything he asked and then he picked me instead. Is that true? Is that why you told me he was a liar and not worth it?
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[If he would call it manipulation. He's still turning the events of that fateful day over in his mind. No matter which way he looks at it, Phobos definitely manipulated him but he had a choice too, didn't he?]
I did like Cain. He saved me. [From what, Abel will have to guess.] Not a lot of fighters are willing to risk the brig or their own rep for a nobody like me. I thought it was- [Love. He shakes his head, unable to say the word.] Well. Regardless of what I thought, the feelings weren't mutual. But for a long time I wanted to believe that the feelings were mutual. That's why I did what Cain asked. That's why I watched you, and made sure no other fighter got near you. I thought that if I'd helped Cain and do all I could to help his mission that'd he'd eventually return the feelings. I was there for each navigator he had and even helped him climb the ranks amongst the fighters. I felt like I was owed something. Like I had earned the right.
I know now that that's not how relationships work but I never really had friends before Cain. [He breathes deeply, squeezing his fingers together. His own breakup comes fresh in his mind now.]
Cain took advantage of my feelings for him. You came along and changed Cain, for better or worse, and I had to watch it all on the sidelines. You and him were so close and friendly... I wanted that. Yet any time I tried to be intimate or close with Cain he completely shut me out.
He wasn't truthful to me or to you and he had the fucking balls to tell me to my face that he didn't have feelings for you even though I called him out about it. His other navigators... he never called them by name. He never cared for them. That's... how I knew you were different for him.
[Deimos sighs, head drooping low so that his bangs could hide part of his face.]
We stopped being friends that night, you know? And... well. It just snowballed into something awful for me. I had no one else to spend time with on what could have possibly been our last night alive. I let my hurt and anger tear me apart and Phobos... he fucking knew.
I- [Deimos sniffs, wiping at the corner of his eye. Fucking Phobos.]
I know you might not believe me but I went along with Phobos plan to get back at Cain. I didn't do it to drag you down to my level. I knew you liked him and yet... all I could think about was exposing Cain for the lies and deception surrounding your relationship. In truth, I wasn't thinking. I just let myself be tugged around by the frayed ends of my emotions again.
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[He also wonders how much Cain really used Deimos' feelings when he was constantly putting off Deimos' advances-- maybe Deimos just refused to see the writing on the wall, or kept hoping that something would suddenly change between them. But maybe Abel is just too willing to defend Cain, who seems to put too much pressure on himself. Pressure he doesn't need to take on all by himself.]
[But really, Abel is somewhat eased by the knowledge that attempting to destroy his relationship with Cain wasn't about him directly. Maybe he'd expected Abel to get angry and punish Cain like he wanted, maybe he hadn't expected Abel to break down crying in front of them. Come to think of it, Phobos had started laying into him again after the initial truth bomb and Deimos had interrupted. Maybe the only person who took pleasure in hurting Abel was Phobos, while Deimos' motivation was completely different. Not without unforeseen consequences, but some credit could be issued where it was due.]
It's alright Deimos. You don't have to hold it in, I can tell you're holding onto more hurt than regret over being caught. [Abel shifts to dig into his pocket and pulls out his handkerchief, offering it to Deimos.]
I'm sure Cain didn't mean to lie to you about what he felt. Admitting something out loud, something that you don't want to be true, is hard. I think you experienced that with your feelings for Cain, right? You knew he didn't return your feelings, but admitting it to yourself would have been painful. Both of you were struggling to gain control of things that were outside your control. You should try to forgive him for hiding his feelings, at least.
Have you talked to him about all of this yet? I didn't think it was my place to ask him, but I think you should air all of this out so the two of you can move forward.
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I've already forgiven him. [One eye peers out from behind his bangs, tilting his head to rub at the exposed neck.] Back then, when I understood the seriousness of my mistake... I vowed to make it better and- I'd already done the next best thing to apologize for my behavior.
[Helping them escape, leaving himself to rot away in the brig for treason. For a crime he'd never get a fair trial for.]
We kind of chatted. Not really. I don't know if we should talk about what had happened. He knows what happened. What I did to you, and what came after. That’s where the dog is buried after all.
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[When Deimos finishes with that strange idiom that Abel can only assume is a Russian thing, the meaning of which he mostly parses from the context, he lets out a deep breath.]
I think you should talk, despite thinking everything's settled. When Cain approached me about this, he told me the two of you still had to talk this over so I think it's less done and dusted than you might think.
I'll be honest Deimos, I'm glad you did what you did to protect the two of us, but I didn't even know it had happened until Cain told me. Just doing something doesn't replace actually communicating with someone, it's important to do both. It's important to apologize verbally and change your behavior.
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He furrows his brows, lips stuck in a thin pout as he tried to free himself of this awkwardness.]
I'm not great with my words.
[Neither is Cain. The few blissful moments they've had together was from the rush of their actions. Train jumping and exploring the ruins. None of those needed words. Just a silent understanding that they got each other. Understood each other. Like old times without the flirtatious undertone.
Except it's not at all like old times and Deimos knows that they should talk. The two fighters don't know each other as well as they thought. They need to speak eventually, even if to help lay down a more solid foundation for their budding friendship. Deimos also recognizes that Abel isn't going to accept some excuse of not being able to communicate even if the facts all point to Deimos being difficult with verbal confrontation. Even being pressurized (however gently) by Abel has him frustrated by the lack of words.]
I- Mmm.
[Stupid stubborn Martians.]
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You did just fine with me.
[Abel can't lift much, can barely throw a punch, and held onto railings during strong breezes-- but he's got words, and he unfortunately knows how to use them thanks to being steeped in politics from birth. He doesn't fault Deimos and Cain for having trouble expressing themselves, but Cain at least makes the effort instead of admitting defeat right off the bat. And even then it's not a very solid claim at defeat, given Deimos has said more in the past few minutes than Abel ever expected him to. He's not buying it.]
If you want me to sit between the two of you and play the teleprompter I'm happy to, but somehow I doubt either of you want me there for this conversation.
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[The last time Cain and Deimos admitted their feelings ended up with both of them trying to attack the other. Besides, Deimos doesn't want Abel there to see how humiliated he is by the whole situation regarding his own feelings. With a heavy sigh, Deimos drags his hands down his face- roughly wiping away the tears that threatened to spill and easing the tension out of his system. He remains quiet for a bit, staring hard at his lap as he tries not to drown in his own hurtful sorrow.]
This is hard for me too. [His voice drops in volume. All he can do to keep himself from not speaking is lock his hands tightly together in a hard grip.] Maybe even harder.
[The conversation becomes briefly broken as Deimos tries to surmise how difficult this entire situation is for the three of them. More importantly- how it'll be difficult for him to recover from this awful mess. Admitting he had feelings for Cain still leaves him burning with embarrassment and while he did give the Reliant the opportunity they needed to escape, it's still left Deimos with the knowledge that he's still alone in this world. That's a difficult truth to get over.
But it'll be something he'll have to get over by talking things out with Cain and making things right with Abel.
Gently he grabs the hankerchief left out for him by Abel, wringing it in his hands.]
I'll talk to him.
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[He doesn't like the implication that he couldn't handle a conversation between Deimos and Cain, that Deimos would be doing him some kind of favor releasing him from a burden. He likes it even less that Deimos thinks he can hide behind things like refusing Abel's handkerchief and denying he needs to let anything out, then turn around and imply that Abel would be the one who would be uncomfortable and that the situation is hard-- like Abel was somehow unaware of that fact. And yet Abel has offered help only to have it be rejected with a subtle reminder that this is so hard for Deimos.]
[Abel watches coolly as Deimos finally picks up the handkerchief to worry it. It's a start, he guesses.]
You should. I think the sooner you both air this out and take ownership of what happened, the sooner you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself.
[That's his assessment, and he's sticking to it.]
I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that this is harder for you than for any of us, we all hurt as a result of this. I've spent this entire conversation trying to understand your pain and not wave mine around, because I'm not interested in whether it's more or less. It's just different. I didn't forgive Cain because my pain was less than his, I forgave him because he helped me understand his pain.
And I think I understand yours, despite your attempts to keep me as an onlooker. But Cain's not looking for this like I am. You need to speak clearly to him so that both of you can be on the same page. Until then, he's going to go on feeling responsible for your choices and you're going to keep up outward appearances while resenting it. Are you really so sure you've forgiven him if you're convinced this situation has been the hardest on you?
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Fuck. [The curse is soft- audible only because it's the two of them talking face to face.] You're right.
[His whole body eases up from the tension he'd been holding onto, relaxing into the couch. It won't do him any good to see himself as the victim here. They're all victims in their own ways after all.
He opens his mouth to say something and nothing comes out. Instead a steady stream of tears paints his face. He may have been honest with Abel about what happened back then with why he'd outed Cain as a liar. Even more honest with Cain about coming back to help them. Though he told Abel of his initial hurt, he really hasn't opened up to the Reliant duo about his fears of returning home. He hadn't even begun to consider that Cain may have felt responsible for the actions he's taken. The last thing he wants is a rift in their friendship over assumed feelings.
Abel's right. The sooner they talk, the sooner they can rightfully see each other taking ownership for the things that happened, the sooner they can let go of this resentment and pain. The sooner he'll stop feeling sorry for himself and stop dreading something that may never happen.
Somehow Abel's figured him out, yet again.]
Fuck.